"The Method of Science, the Aim of Religion"

*****

*****

Projects: Chemognosis:

"Two Fragments of LSD-25 Reports" by Frater V.

Fragment I: April 5, 2007
Location: Big Sur, CA
Time: Noon until after Sunset
Amount: 200-300ug

[Note: This is a transcription of a handwritten entry. Names have been replaced with Hebrew letters to protect the identities of those involved]

I experienced what I would probably describe as undifferentiated consciousness. Everything took on layers of symbolic meaning. The trip [a term for the course of the experience] itself became a reflection of the process of Birth, which became a reflection of the process of Creation of the Universe. I had been reading the [Bhagavad] Gita beforehand so my ideas were more clothed in this language. 'My' consciousness seemed like a vehicle of this omnipotent electricity of some kind of Supreme Entity or Self - of Being, Consciousness, and pure Bliss - beyond any normal ideas of masculine, feminine, attraction, aversion, mercy, and severity I floated in an ocean of ecstasy. 'My' Being was pure, chaotic, formless consciousness (like Shiva) - each action was a particular experience/consolidation of this consciousness into solidified form, one somewhat arbitrary expression of joy out of an infinite potential multitude (like Shakti). I was reminded of the boundless love and understanding express by Whitman in 'Song of Myself' and the lines about the white swan in Liber LXV*.

Each person was a star - a particular manifestation of that Supreme Brahman, Nuit, Tao or Ultimate Nameless. Each star was a reflection of an aspect of the All and each was therefore perfect in itself - beautiful, with no notion of 'impurity' or 'evil' or even 'bad.' At each glance, people would reflect into various archetypal roles - mainly expressed by the Tarot in my mind. [Gimel] standing and overlooking a vast valley and ocean, standing alone on a rock, was the Hermit, observing the world from his moutainous perch. [Aleph] is exploding with all Beauty, and revels in the fertile Nature surrounding us, becoming the Empress seated amongst the flora. [Shin] stumbles and laughs - what an absolute Fool! This is the state of innocent, sensitive, aware openness that Jesus spoke about (Matt.18:3**). At times I felt identified with this formless chaos and pondered over the illusion of using a subject and object in a sentence - it is a misnomer because the supposed 'self' that is the subject, that does these actions, is just a vehicle/part of that Supreme Entity...

The entire perceptible universe became understood to be a magical Image, weaved into existence through the interplay of opposites for the fulfillment of infinite varieites of virile, orgiastic Experience of Love under Will. The experience was not in time and was too surreal for me to form into coherent words - I am reminded of T.S. Elliott's words in this regard: "I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where. And I cannot say, how long, for that is to place it in time."

* "Who art thou that dost float and fly and dive and soar in the inane? Behold, these many æons have passed; whence camest thou? Whither wilt thou go? And laughing I chide him, saying: No whence! No whither! The swan being silent, he answered: Then, if with no goal, why this eternal journey? And I laid my head against the Head of the Swan, and laughed, saying: Is there not joy ineffable in this aimless winging? Is there not weariness and impatience for who would attain to some goal? And the swan was ever silent. Ah! but we floated in the infinite Abyss. Joy! Joy! White swan, bear thou ever me up between thy wings!" -"Liber LXV," II:21-25

**"Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3

End of Fragment I

* * * * *

Fragment II: June 12, 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Time: 9:13AM - ~12:00PM
Amount: 100-200ug

[NOTE: Being a transcription of a handwritten manuscript, the style is imitated as closely as possible with capitalization, punctuation, etc. All marks in brackets are editorial notes made afterward by Frater V. on March 19, 2009]

9:13AM: INGESTION

10AM: restlessness. lied down for a while, still coming up.

A subtle perception has crept into me - this humming
dissatisfaction. uh. I just fucking [a horizontal, jagged line appears here]

will report back later

11:00 TIME DEFINATELY[sic] HAS SLOWED, I FEEL THAT THE LAST MINUTES MIGHT BE HOURS IN MY HEAD. [the perception was that many hours had passed but obviously less than an hour had passed]

11:53P.M. [most definitely a mistake, should be 'A.M.'; this next section is written in cursive]
things cryssalize [sic] - these words are
lifeless and stupid the moment my
pen leaves the page. th [an unfinished word]

life is [cursive ends here]

a meaningless but nonetheless
beautiful series of hilarious
coincidences My life
and consciousness are [a drawing of concentrtic circles which overlaps the words "of" and the end of "coincidences"]

[An image drawn of a hexagram with a Sun symbol in the middle; this was drawn, at the time, as an effort to 'stabilize' the psyche and it appeared to work, acting almost as a symbolic expression of my intent to "get it back together"... to the left of this hexagram is ablack dot, less than an inch across, made up of black scribbles; these were most likely done out of a meaniongless expression of energy]

[The first two words of the next section along with the word "quivering" are in cursive, otherwise the lettering is normal lowercase; the following somewhat like 'inspired poetry' although part was crossed out when thought, just after the fact, that it was not satisfactory]

If riddled in pointless ultimates,
you posit not possible nestled between

the two quivering fibers of that
most primal nothing
[below this are various markings that appear to have no discernible shape or meaning]

[Various marks, most prominently is an arrangement of letters:]

B [Tav] [Aleph]
A

pointless letters

[These letters were written down 'pointlessly' in the sense that I just started writing down letters in no particular order or design. The result was what appears to be two pillars, one being composed of 'B' and 'A' and the other being a tall Aleph, with a Tav right in the center. I'm sure some kind of Qabalistic or psychological meaning could be given to this but one was not immediately apparent during the writing]

[end of manuscript]

Notes by Frater V. from March 19, 2009: Things took about two and a half hours from ingestion of what was most likely 100-200 ug of LSD-25 to the point of things 'cryssalizing.' The process in between these two temporal points is one of distintegration and re-constitution.

Two phrases jump out at me as being worthwhile tokens of "spiritual insight." The first is "these words are lifeless and stupid the moment my pen leaves the page." Although I had not thought about the phrase before and it certainly wasn't in mind at this moment, Paul conveys a similar idea in II Corinthians 3:6, "The letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life." There was a firey spirit that wished to express itself, crystallizing as ink on paper, but they are merely dead signs. There is a definite state of mind where this is seen as such a strong conviction for it to be "obvious."

The second insight is, "life is a meaningless but nonetheless beautiful series of hilarious coincidences." This is a succinct statement about a Point-of-View on Existence. Life is meaningless - there is no ultimate purpose - but that doesn't mean it is bad or sorrowful. It is 'nonetheless beautiful:' there is joy in the aimless winging. Life is a series of 'hilarious coincidences:' 'coincidences' was meant in a way that each moment is an amazingly unprobable collection of all the atoms & energies interacting in a certain combination, and further there is a Wonder at the simple fact that one is conscious of this Process called Nature. They are 'hilarious' because the attitude is joyful, perhaps with a hint at 'getting' the Cosmic Joke.

End of Fragment II

[ HOME ]